I can resist everything except temptation.
Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating – people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.
Man can believe the impossible, but man can never believe the improbable.
Those whom the gods love grow young.
It is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned.
The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it.
Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Why was I born with such contemporaries?
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But… it is better to be good than to be ugly.
In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.
Life is far too important to be taken seriously.