The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.
The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
What we have to do, what at any rate it is our duty to do, is to revive the old art of Lying.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.
When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm.
In married life three is company and two none.
Only the shallow know themselves.
It is only by not paying one’s bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.
There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.
Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.